The Pedicure

I've always enjoyed going to the nail salon, sitting in a massage chair and having someone massage my legs, file my heels and paint my toes. There's just something relaxing and rejuvenating about the whole process. As for my dog Oskar, he has a whole different opinion on pedicures, in fact, if he could talk he'd tell you that having your nails clipped and filed is like someone taking a hack saw and sawing your nails down to the bone. His phobia is so terrible, the vet would have to muzzle him just so they can clip his nails. I used to take him a groomers when it was time for his hair cut. Standard procedure was to clean his ears and clip his nails along with the actual grooming. He always came back looking spiffy and sharp, eyebrows perfectly angled, beard neat and tidy, body cut short with some length on his legs. Yep, he looked like a show dog, too bad the only thing he had to show was his haircut. Anyway, after a few trips to the doggy salon, I decided to take over and do his grooming myself. He was a good sport as long as I gave him his cookie when I was finished. He allowed me to angle his eyebrows, cut and trim his hair, even clean out his ears. But when it came time to clip his nails, the fight was on. He would whine, wiggle, twist and turn and eventually Houdini his way out of my clutches. It didn't matter how much I bribed him, he was not going to let me clip his nails. I would lay him on his side and literally sit and straddle him wrapping my legs around his neck just so I could keep him still as I attempted to, what he would call, butcher his toes, all the while crying and yelping in pain. Just for the record, it was not painful but he had it in his head that I was sawing off his phalanges with a chainsaw. To save the wrestling match, I would have the vet trim his nails when he would go in for his immunizations. Even with a muzzle, you could still hear him moan in agony.

Then I saw it......An infomercial on Pedi Paws, the fast, easy and gentle way to trim your pet's nails! Hmmmm, sounds too good to be true. Could be.... you know these kinds of commercials, the pet is some highly trained animal and the owners are just actors. Yeah, I'm not going to give out my credit card number, I mean really...."Won't crack, splinter or break nails," as the commercial is demonstrating a dog sitting on his owners lap allowing them to file his nails with a "rotating filing head that gently and safely files it to a smooth rounded finish." Naw, Oskar is just gonna have to endure the torcher.

But then I saw it again, this time in a pet store. I'm beginning to think a doggy angel is dropping a major hint....Buy the Pedi Paws.....buy the Pedi Paws....Ok, OK! It was the same price as the one on T.V. $20.00 bucks, I'll buy it!, I'll buy it! This could be interesting, actually I'm rather excited to see how this, "Incredible Pet Nail Trimmer," is going to prove its self.

I gathered Oskar into my lap and turned on the rotating file, then continued to rub it all over him so he could get used to the noise...Something the instructions suggested to do, but enough of the orientation, it's time to see how this miracle file works. At first he was a little freaked out, he could tolerate the file being rubbed over his body, but having it touch the nails...thats when he started to quiver, so I squeezed a bit harder with my legs indicating to him he was going to go through with this, "fast, easy and gentle way of nail trimming," and to my surprise, he settled down and relaxed. Wow, maybe there really is something to this file that, "eliminates fear and stress of nail grooming." Since he was actually cooperating, I continued with the rest of his nails....Amazing, what a good boy! After I completed trimming and filing his nails he sprung from my leg grasp and told me in his very enthusiastic bark, "My cookie mom! I get a cookie!!" This time I couldn't agree more, yes Oskar, you get a cookie.....