Over Eaters Anonymus

In this beautiful country setting a 100 acre ranch is surrounded by lush green pastures, beautiful white fencing and a driveway lined with lovely oak trees. It's no wonder they gather there.

Single file they walk into the arena and take their places. One by one they introduce themselves, then finally, last but not least, a timid nicker emerges, "Hi my name is Jaycee, I like to eat."

"Hi Jaycee," They all say in unison.

She's a bit nervous, her tail is swishing and her ears are twitching but as she is asked to tell her story she bravely reveals her weakness.

The head Mare, the matriarch of the heard encourages Jaycee: "What brings you here?"

Jaycee: "Well...you see...I love to eat. I can't help myself, I'll eat anything, anytime, anywhere."

The matriarch: "Please continue."

Jaycee: "When I'm in the pasture, I'll gorge myself. I love the taste of green grass especially sweet spring grass that's the best. Ah yes that's the best.....

The matriarch: "Hm, what does your rider think of this?"

Jaycee: "Oh she understands but I don't like it when she takes me off the grass.  Seriously the nerve. Just because my feet get sore and my neck gets slightly stiff she puts me in the dry lot. I hate the dry lot. I'll paw the gate and bang it showing her I'm not happy."

The Matriarch: "Harsh as it may seem, I'm sure it's for your own good." 
Jaycee: "Yeah, like she's putting me on some kind of diet by feeding me hay. Oh I'll eat the hay don't get me wrong, it's what I do, eat, eat, eat. Even if some lands in the water trough, I'll manage to eat it."
Matriarch: "What about exercise, do you exercise?"

Jaycee: "Sure I do. Although, when I take her riding I can't help myself, I  still have to nibble whatever is in my path, the tall brush grass, leaves on a tree. If we stop, even for a minute I'll snack on the sage bushes."Those are kinda bitter tasting, but what can I say, I like to eat."

The matriarch: "I see."

Jaycee: "Then there are the names, oh the name calling it's so humiliating."

 Matriarch:  "Name calling?"

Jaycee: "Yes they call me an 'easy keeper'  Let me tell you, I'm far from easy. I kicked the gelding square in the chest and landed a good blow to his leg for trying to mount me." I'm still a virgin you know."

Some nickering and whinnying comes from the mares of the herd, "Way to go Jaycee!"

The matriarch: "Jaycee dear, the term 'easy keeper' refers to one who has to watch what she eats. Has nothing to do with your virginity."

Jaycee hangs her head in embarrassment: "Oh."

The matriarch:  "Look that's enough for one day.  Thank you all again for coming, and thank you Jaycee for sharing." 

As you can see my horse clearly has issues.