Oh My Heck, Did he really say that?

It was the husbands month to conduct in church, which means he was responsible for finding people to give the talks. He always struggles with this assignment because we have such a small ward and the rotation comes around too quickly for speakers.

As he was fretting about this, I told him I would be happy to speak on our missionary and report how he is doing. I mean hey, what mother wouldn't. After all, he's been gone for 8 months now it's about time I give a full account.

Before I go any further, let me set the record straight. I'm not one to speak in front of people. As a matter of fact, I loathe it. I get nervous, my legs start quivering, I drip sweat from my brow and underarms, my heart rate escalates, my hands get all clammy, and it takes me at least a month to prepare. Not to mention I can never remember what I said the minute I step down.

I'm not one of those people who can whip up a talk at a moments notice. I need a lot of mental preparation before I can even begin to research my topic. But report on my son, this I can do. I even bought a new outfit just for the occasion.

I had plenty of information to go on. His emails are funny and filled with great experiences. He has seen the most humblest of circumstances, felt the Spirit guide them on many occasions and is learning a lot about the Mexican culture. Giving this talk was not only going to be a pleasure, but a breeze.

The only other speaker was a High Councilman from a neighboring city about 40 miles away.

The program was as follows: I was to be first, then an intermediate hymn and the High Councilman as the concluding speaker. Truly the husband underestimates me. Remember, I'm speaking about my boy here. Had I been in charge of the program, I would have saved the High Councilman a trip and not included a rest hymn, but at least I was first.

It didn't take me long to get in the zone, as a matter of fact, I never even noticed the time. I was thoroughly enjoying every minute reporting on the missionary. After a while the husband, who was sitting behind me, whispered, "Wrap it up." Excuse me, did I just hear him say, 'wrap it up' give me a break! I'm talking about our son here mister! Appalled I turned and looked at him with a glare in my eyes, then proceeded to speak into the microphone and announced I had just been instructed to ' wrap it up.'

I continued to tell the congregation I was not finished and couldn't believe the very person I bailed out, was kicking me off the podium. The ungrateful man. The congregation exploded with laughter and the husbands face turned bright red as he tried to hide his shame with the program. Then I turned to the High Councilman and asked if he minded, and he just shook his head no and made a gestured for me to continue. I'm sure he was wondering what was going on with this crazy ward and their lack of reverence. Probably felt it was best if he just laid low and didn't get involved.

By that point, my concentration was broke and I was all flustered, so I ended the talk by sharing my son's testimony. We skipped the intermediate hymn and the first words out of the High Councilman's mouth were, "I know better than to mess with a mother of a missionary." HA!

I think the husband could learn a little something from our out of town guest.